To End, or Not: YOUR actions dictate.

My birth name is Alison Anne Cameron (DoB 1958-08-26, York Region, Ontario) and have legally entered a Tenancy Agreement for the 400 sq ft located at 604-25 Clute Street, New Westminster, BC V3L 1Z6. And, what is written below I affirm to be a true account.

1. During the week of June 23, 2014, I did the following in one day: In the morning photocopied a document handwritten by Ana Zlato Todorovic, Rotary Towers' Building Manager, that she had posted on my neighbour, Mr Paul Chernenkoff's, door on June 20, 2014; and, penned a letter to Staff Sergeant E. Ward stating I would be calling that evening to have a discussion with him about this document and how Constable Ishii and his (unidentified) female partner had responded to the report Mr. Dale Chernenkoff initiated on June 13, 2014 regarding the harassment his uncle, Mr Paul Chernenkoff (residing at 605-25 Clute Street for 22 years) had endured by Ms Ana Zlato Todorovic in collusion with a number of other tenants; And,

2. In the mid-evening, of June 23, 2014, I initiated a conference call with Mr Paul Chernenkoff and Staff Sergeant E. Ward #172 regarding how Constable Ishii and his female partner (name unknown) treated my neighbour and friend, Mr Paul Chernenkoff on June 13, 2014. In this conversation both Mr Paul Chernenkoff and I repeated there is a great deal of distrust when dealing with the police officers under his command because they are biased in favour of the people who are and have been bullying Mr. Paul Chernenkoff for years. In this conversation Staff Sargeant E. Ward evaded making a statement about Ms Ana Zlato Todorovic's written notice, although he acknowledged possessing the notice during this conversation. He would not reply to my reasoning the notice points to suspecting Ms Ana Zlato Tordorvic of contributing to Mr Paul Chernenkoff's victimization.

3. On June 20, 2014 Ms Ana Zlato Todorovic wrote to Mr Paul Chernenkoff the following: “DISTURBANCE OF PEACE AND QUIET. DISTURBANCE OF ANOTHER OCCUPANT AND THE LANDLORD UNREASONABLY DISTURBED ANOTHER OCCUPANT AND THE LANDLORD BY SPREADING UN-TRUE STORIES. SERIOUSLY JEOPARDIZED THE HEALTH OR SAFTEY OR LAWFUL RIGHT OF ANOTHER OCCUPANTS”.

4. In this discussion with Staff Sergeant E. Ward I got the distinct impression he was not listening to what I and Mr Paul Chernenkoff were saying, as his replies were off topic or evasive. At the end he asked me what I wanted him to do. I replied I wanted him to instruct the officers under his command to cease and desist their biases towards Mr Paul Chernenkoff and be impartial. He said, “I will talk to them”, and that is how the conversation ended.

5. On July 31, 2014, at approximately 11:30 AM, at the entrance of Rotary Towers, located at 25 Clute Street, New Westminster, BC I arrived to find my neighbours Mrs Joan McCarthy of unit #101, Mr Jim McConnville of unit #402, and one Murray and another man known to me as “Big Paul” were sitting outside, in the exterior lobby. They immediately started making untrue and insulting remarks about me when Mr Jim McConnville saw me and notified them of my approach.

6. I responded with, “No matter how nasty you are to me, it will never make me act like you do. Your projections onto me are lies and actions say more about how defiant your behaviour is”. To this Mrs Joan McCarthy leaped up, attempted to hit me with her fist while verbally threatening to do so, and attempted to take the gardening tool from my hand. I stepped back to prevent her stealing my property. At this time, Mr Jim McConnville jumped up and took three steps to be able to touch me, making the same verbal and gesturing threats of violence upon me.

7. I walked away while they continued to taunt and threaten me, and saw Mr Paul Chernenkoff sitting inside the lobby. I opened the door and asked him if he saw what happened and would he talk to the police. He said yes to both and I called 911.

8. I called 911 and made the report. I sat beside Mr Paul Chernenkoff in the lobby. At 11:48 AM Constable Chris Cecil #283 phoned my cell number to say he was in the lobby of a building on Clute Street. He was at the address 45 Clute Street, and said he would walk over to “Rotary Towers”, where I was waiting.

9. At this time the husband of Mrs Joan McCarthy of unit 101 came down and went out to tell Mrs Joan McCarthy her sister had phoned and the couple left by way of the garden that takes them to the common first floor balcony.

10. He arrived and immediately turned and talked with the same group of people who remained in the exterior lobby. I got up, opened the door and stated I was the one filing the report. Constable C Cecil turned and walked towards me to sit in the interior lobby with Mr Paul Chernenkoff and I.

11. Mr Paul Chernenkoff and what occurred and Constable C Cecil responded with, “I can't get involved with any tenancy issues”. I said I was well aware of that and that I was reporting bullying and harassment by a group of people who had been doing the same to Mr Paul Chernenkoff for at least a decade. Mr Paul Chernenkoff agreed with my statement.

12. When Constable C Cecil asked what ways this group and Ana Zlato Torodovic were harassing us, I explained that Mrs Joan McCarthy conspired with Ms Ana Zlato Torodovic to falsely accuse me of damaging Mrs Joan McCarthy's bathroom, and that the tenancy process was under a legal RTA review. Mr Paul Cherenkoff then attempted to tell Constable C Cecil how he has been harassed and bullied by this same group of people. Constable C Cecil would not let Mr Paul Chernenkoff answer.

13. I then told Constable C Cecil that the man Murray, who remained in the exterior lobby, had told me that Mr Paul Chernenkoff deserved to be bullied, that the “manager” had told him to do so, and that he did so. Constable C Cecil said this was hearsay and attempted to explain it to me. I told him not to waste his time because I knew what it was and arguing with him on the definition was wasting time.

14. Constable C Cecil interrupted me saying that his “due diligence” and “acting impartially” included speaking with all those who remained in the exterior lobby, Mrs Joan McCarthy and Ms Ana Zlato Torodovic. I asked to what purpose it would serve to talk to Ms Ana Zlato Torodovic since she was not a witness to any of the day's occurrence. I also stated that in my time as a Resident Manager the police never wanted my testimony if I had not witnessed events between tenants. Constable C Cecil seemed to get nervous at my statement, stood and went outside to the people who had remained in the exterior lobby.

15. Mr Paul Chernenkoff and I both verbalized the same feelings and thoughts that this police officer was not listening to us and turning the tables to accuse us and not lay charges against these people. We continued to watch and discuss how Constable C Cecil was listening to Mr Jim McConnville to talk about how the Bailiff was due to arrive to evict me, and make derogatory remarks about mine and Mr Paul Chernenkoff's mental health.

16. I went upstairs to my unit, #604, to eat and await Ms Ana Zlato Torodovic appointed arrival at my door. As I was preparing my lunch I heard a loud knock on my door. I asked who it was, and the response was “police”. I opened my door to Constable C Cecil who was holding a copy of a Residential Order of Possession of my unit, and as he was asking me if I knew about it my toast popped up and I turned away leaving him to hold the door open and continue the discussion.

17. I had decided not to ask him why he was discussing a matter he, in his role as a police officer, is clearly forbidden to do, and let him question me about the matter.

18. Constable C Cecil asked why I hadn't mentioned this downstairs, and I replied I had and included the fact it is under Review, which is a kind of an appeal and under what authority the Review was filed. I then showed him the receipt from the Residential Tenancy Branch to prove the action was made, and this is all I am required to do. He seemed confused and I suggested he call the Residential Tenancy Branch's number 604 660 1020. He had to ask me for the number again to write down in his notebook.

19. Constable C Cecil, left my unit muttering he didn't know what he was doing.

20. At 11:57AM I heard another knock on the door, and expecting Ms Ana Zlato Torodovic, I turned on my camera and answered the door. Standing about two feet behind Ms Ana Zlato Torodovic was Constable C Cecil, as the previously posted video recording shows.

21. Ms Ana Zlato asked me if I had proof the Review had been filed and I said, “Yes, the officer saw it”. Constable C Cecil made no comment. She then asked me if I had notified her office and I said, “No. That is not my responsibility. I suggest you call 604 660 1020”. In response, Ms Ana Zlato Torodovic turned and walked away, followed by Constable C Cecil.

22. On the morning of August 1, 2014 I called the New Westminster Police Services non-emergency number and asked to speak with Staff Sergeant E. Ward. When the Staff Sergeant answered the line, I identified myself and asked him for his badge number. When he gave me the number I said, “Thank you” and hung up.


23. I immediately went to the New Westminster Police Services station, located at Columbia and 6th Streets, and in my business there asked for a Complaint Form. The woman informed me that she could not give one to me, but would arrange for the appropriate person to do so. I waited in the lobby. This woman repeated my full name numerous times before she left.


24. After approximately 10 minutes I heard a male voice call out “Ma'am”and I turned to see a white male, with salt and pepper hair standing on the other side of the enclosed counter. I walked to him and saw his badge number, 172. He immediately said he believed I was the one who called earlier for his badge number and I confirmed it. He asked me who the officer is that I am making a complaint about, and I replied, “You”.


25. Staff Sergeant E Ward then attempted to evade my request by making statements about the complaint procedure. I concisely told him all I needed was the form, as I know the “protocols”. He said he would get a form and instructed me to wait. I did so, and went to look at the antique vehicle displayed on the opposite side of the lobby.

26. Approximately five minutes later Staff Sergeant E Ward entered the lobby from the door way closest to me with a Complaint Form in hand. He made a comment implying that I was not intelligent enough to understand the form. I replied, “Oh, I'm pretty adept at English,” then pause to consider how I was going to end this conversation. I chose to look him straight in the eye, nod and leave.

She is being given the services of the police to intimidate.  She has gotten away with using the tenants to bully and intimidate other tenants, because her workplace is full of bullies.

Corruption lies in the willingness of the people to allow it.  Do you really want your children being bullied?  If you do nothing about this kind of thing among the adults, your children will have to endure it.

What have I ever done to anyone to deserve this kind of treatment? Fill me in, because this eviction means homelessness and a reduction of income from $946. to $644. per month.  Market rent for a bachelor in my area is $650. 

Anti-bullying literature found in the lobby area of the

New Westminster Police Services building,

located on Columbia Street.

TITLE (OR FRONT)	Page	Quote
Seniors Safety and Crime Prevention, BC Crime Prevention Association (no year) Booklet	16-17	Physical Abuse [first bullet] Acts of violence such as punching, hitting, slapping, kicking, pinching, burning... Emotional/Psychological Abuse [first bullet] Insults, threats, intimidations [sic], yelling, ignoring, and isolation
B.C. Crime Prevention Association Apartment Security Promoting Reduction and Awareness within the Community Pamphlet	Obverse first panel	CHOOSING AN APARTMENT Here are a few features to check: [fourth bullet] Do the tenants feel comfortable living in their community, do they know they're neighbours?
B.C. Crime Prevention Association BULLYING STOP BULLYING NOW STAND UP SPEAK OUT Promoting Reduction and Awareness within the Community Pamphlet	Reverse first panel	A bully is: A domineering person or group of persons who abuse others A person who tries to control others by fear A person who behaves in an aggressive, thoughtless and unjust manner
	Reverse second panel	Reasons for Bullying: Peer pressure Attention seeking Lack of friendship Disregard for the feelings of others Insecurity Experienced bullying in the past Need for acceptance Desire to be part of a gang/group Reflection of personal problems Bullying is a criminal offence, and may be classified as any of the following: Assault Harassment Extortion Threatening Intimidation
	Reverse third panel	Ways to protect yourself from a bully: Stay together in a group Be brave Be confident Walk away from trouble Stick up for yourself Report bullying to: [fifth bullet] The Police Report anonymously to Crime Stoppers BULLYING IT'S TIME TO STOP!

Homelessness

Foundation's Destruction

The destruction of our foundation, the buildings, has its root in the cupidity our society functions; a wounded place in our collective psyche. The last 2000 years we have been working our way out of the the old schism of denying our choices exist. Dr Robert Sutton recognized this dynamic and his publisher agreed, the message far outweighs the sensibilities many would have with the title, “The No-Asshole Rule”.


That one rule is the catalyst to change from having choices and not: We are all assholes to each other, and we know it. We do have choices, every day, and when we enact the asshole behaviour we say the another is “not good enough to have what I have”. The studies from the Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) has long identified this behaviour as shaming. We now call it bullying.


We bully when we “spread[ing] malicious rumors, undermining or deliberately impeding a person's work, withholding necessary information or giving the wrong information, pestering, belittling a person's opinions, tampering with a person's personal belongings, or work equipment”. (http://www.ccohs.ca)

Aviary's Avarice

The epitome of our white collar existence has been to make that wound continually bleed. To never include the whole by denying a group what every member needs to survive – food, clothing and shelter – for a time periods beyond requirement is being the bully.


The hawk's eyes always seek separately for their prey, while the hunting instinct requires camouflage. Funnily enough, UBC's Dr Robert Hare applies the hunter characteristics to his psychopath's scale when describing business people. Why BC authorities do not use the said scale when assessing mental health and criminal behaviour when the rest of the Western world is, is beyond me.

Platitudes

...is all I'm hearing as an absolute homeless person (November 15^th, 2012 - January 14, 2014) regarding appropriate housing for me; and, I am not the only one with a mental health diagnosis to be bullied by members of the BCGEU (British Columbia Government Employees Union), et al. That empty space between the words, “I took this job to help people” and the actual emotional intent behind the results to help the other is where being an asshole, or not, is born

 

Social Rendering

A History

There has been media coverage on the Downtown Eastside's (DTES) activist community proclaiming the business community is the gentrifier of their community. But, originally Hastings Street and Gastown constituted the main business hub of Vancouver and 'old' office buildings were converted into residences in response to the social housing shortages created by Expo 1986. The City pushed the poor off Davie Street into DTES. Business always demands the transient subculture off its door step. It is the choice of the people elected to run the municipality on how that demand is met that results in the culture of their new neighbourhood.

It is unfortunate the present culture of the DTES still rallies divisiveness: Us v Them.  It has been this way for as long as I've known the neighbourhood. In 1994 there was DERA's internal fighting with who was the Executive Director, Jim Green or Barb Daniels. The latter won out, but the former was given a mid-management position in the provincial government. The divisiveness continued to flourish due to all the players, named and their supporters, behaving within the realm of corruption. The manifestations remain in every crook and cranny, and those bred to it knowing nothing different, and it is nurtured by the whole City, itself.  The corrupt include those with the blinders of not-in-my-backyard.

The corrupt deny there are choices. It has to be this way for the paradigm of victim to exist: For every victim there must be a perpetrator. A parallel paradigm exists with every emancipator there is a collaborator, and they embrace the realms of choice.

Choice requires an acknowledgement of Us v Them, but only from the perspective of defining the parts of the whole. Choice also reveres the responsibilities of its processes and results. It proclaims openly when it wears the blinders, for choice is the voice of creation.

A Revolution

Is it possible for the corrupt to take up the mantel of choice?  Of course, for that is the purpose of creation: the more invocation of choice results in an expansion of creation. Even the corrupt exist within creation, the difference is theirs is short lived.

The collective is on the verge of a rendering the awareness of choice.

Hastings Street is meeting the needs of the new demands with the influx of creative individuals gathering within its population. The area's growth is for naught. It is change due to choice, and with that choice there comes more choice.

My Choice

I have lived this homeless existence with the question of how to break the juggernaut of the Us v Them paradigm, so that I can have the survival tool thus enabling an expansion of my thriving needs. Without shelter (one of three sacred survival requirements) my choices of activity is restricted to shortening my life.  It is the juggernaut of the corrupt, the outside force that has invaded my space and needs lancing.

The lancing can only be done when light is used to define the dark images of ourselves, the communities. I choose to give you a light.

The Episode

Yesterday, amid the deep slushy streets on the south side of Victory Park I saw this man taking

advantage of the emptiness to create. 

On the northeast corner there was another man and his creation required a shovel.

This is Wes Regan. He was cleaning away the snow from the drainage grate so that the melting water would not pool. When this happens there is no safe place for pedestrians to cross the streets, and the cars splash the water up to the sidewalks. The only solution is to clear the grates of the heavy snow, and this requires man power the City couldn't possibly arrange efficiently or economically.

Wes probably recognizes the need more than most because he's the Executive Director of Hastings Crossing Business Improvement Association.  All in all, it took him about an hour to do a couple of blocks worth of shoveling. In that time he was given tea from one cafe and a breakfast muffin from another, and said, "They would have done the same for anyone (else), I'm sure".

I told Wes that I had just concluded a tour of western cities to see what poverty and homelessness was like in them, and it had inspired me to share the moments of kindness to create a better society.  Wes and I share the belief we can have a kinder community and easier life when we each do something to help another.  It is these moments of choice when collaboration blossoms into the recognition we are all part of the whole.

We all belong, including the corrupt.  Our purpose and need is to have a balance between the dark and light.

En garde, Magnat.

1994 was a naive time.

There were groups of us sitting around the tables believing we were there to make a difference in our lives. In this belief many of us saw government employees as being partners, ergo democracy in direct action: and, again, Vancouver leads the country with an innovative Canadianism!

We were diligent in our meetings, keeping the decisions on course with how we saw the medical system would best meet the needs of everyone. We studied our communities, met as citizens of the city and province, learned the communication skills the bureaucracy had been learning, wrote and shared our reports, and gave our hearts to what we knew would have the best outcomes. It was to be the final, not beginning stages of the Vancouver Health Board.

Quickly it came from the government the service boundaries had to be divided differently. They knew the money flow, so we posed no argument and continued to make plans as to how we include the new neighbourhoods into our plan for the Vancouver/Richmond Health Board. In quick succession the names and boundaries kept changing and every neighbourhood across the Lower Mainland (22 municipalities surrounding the Fraser River delta) no longer had input to any plan's implementation.

Fast forward through the Drunken-Campbell-BC, where addictions developed into big business for the province. In fact, along with cannabis, the continent's pharmaceutical industry found another group of subjects to test and sell their new found mood-altering concoction, methadone. The Downtown Eastside in Vancouver and Whalley in Surrey are the Lower Mainland's focus to find test subjects, and methadone-only pharmacies have popped up like daisies. One Surrey pharmacist plied flyers for his delivery service ($80. per prescription) to his strongest client base's residential complex. (photo to come)

Many of the generational homeless are raised or migrate to these two areas: It is much easier for the urban poor to make a camp in park-filled Surrey, or have a floor mat in Vancouver than any where else in Canada. Besides, the Lotus lands are always found in the port cities, or those that longshoremen reside in, because that's where the pirates, aka gangsters, have historically plied their trade.

1912 Vancouver businessmen successfully lobbied the provincial government to have the merchant-class ships unload in their port.  Originally the plan was Prince Rupert, because it was a 55-hour shorter route from Singapore, but the Vancouverites were better sleeping partners. A century later Jim Pattison has changed this - and he's been a BC pirate since his infamous 1970's pornographic smuggling - back to Prince Rupert, and that lovely, little coastal community is about to be the hub of ugly; The pirates are sure to moor and leave a wake of destruction up and down the eastern Pacific coast and along the hunting grounds of the Yellowhead Highway, aka Highway 16, right into Edmonton. Pattison has the two western provinces tied into a juggernaut of pig farm proportions, and the psychopaths are salivating.

The State of Addiction

There is a nasty cocktail brewing in Vancouver under the auspices of Mental Health care. The most recent document outlining the new care model is pure plagiarism from the 1990's studies commissioned for the BC Ministry of Health and the City of Vancouver. (How do I know? I was involved in the community and co-wrote some of those studies and had the others in my possession as reference to our recommendations of health care in the neighbourhood.)

The difference is the new document "Improving Health Services for Individuals with Severe Addiction and Mental Illness" (November 15, 2013, Ministry of Health Report to the Honourable Terry Lake) is full of language to describe the estimated 130,000 people as if they are totally incapable of anything, and all their rights are stripped. The revolving door of incarceration-to-the-street is assured.

These people are being video-monitored while they stay in the shelters, because they have no home, and teams of so-called professionals will bound them off to the hospital to be forced to take "treatment" of anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, methadone and electric shock therapy.  Their diet in and out of hospital is predominately refined starches, little in the way of fresh vegetables and fruit, and heavy fat proteins.

These authors have actually used the homeless population numbers and assigned them to their definition of severe addictions and mental health to validate their intended treatment program. Instead of solving homelessness, they're keeping it alive so they have their subjects to torture.

The 12 days of...

Yeeeeeeeeehaw!

I'll be ready for display as of the 16th.

Every single thing is satisfactory and I'm proud of accomplishing what I have done: Three beaded-stain glass works; one triptych and four separate wall pieces; and, six art boxes.  This whole experience is exhilarating against the backdrop of being homeless.

BC Housing and everyone else who has been actively trying to destroy the beautiful life I can make will be wearing egg on their faces come the 26th. You all failed.  Your denial of your mental health status is the root of your failure to yourselves.

As of today...

I am living on the streets. It will be filled with trying to find a bed in an emergency shelter somewhere.

Would someone care to take over my life? Maybe you can find someone who really cares, because every person I've approached either walks way or takes the opportunity to add more difficulties onto this already stressful existence.

Homelessness continued...

Unenviable, or not?

None of us escape the dichotomy of choice. Tis the way of life. So, is it more enviable to have many choices or fewer?

The situation...

I have a monthly disability income of $940. The average cost of a one-bedroom apartment in this area is $700, add the average cost of utilities (phone, hydro, internet or cable TV) to be $150. I have the added expense of paying $125 per month for a loan I had to take out nearly two years ago. The rest is to buy food with...

I could rent in the cheapest city in this area (average $550 for rent), but it is the city that has caused me the greatest grief and where gangsters roam without any societal containment. My life could be in danger if I were to roam the same streets, as rumor has it, the so-called-contract that was out on me last November is still active.

To use the emergency shelters throughout the Lower Mainland is to sleep beside the same people connected to the gang that put that contract out on me. It is the same as the Transition Houses, where women from prison and the violence of addiction go.  I would pay $375, at least, for a bed for a month.


I have applied to numerous non-profit housing and remain on a waiting list for each. The Salvation Army was oh-so-diabolical and managed to put me from the very top of the A-list for housing to the bottom of the B-list with BC Housing. I have been on this waiting list since January 2000.

A few days ago I turned 55 years of age, and this is suppose to qualify me to use the services of Senior Services Society, in New Westminster. About two months ago I met with Denise Wells there who once worked for a non-profit organization in Surrey and she was part and parcel of a group who tried to steal my artwork. She pawned me off, with prejudice, to a co-worker and Phillip turned out to be "too busy" to help me. I spoke with his acting supervisor, Anna, yesterday and her view is that I don't need their services. She suggested I go to a place in Surrey, which is where Wells worked before and in the heart of the gangster territory.


I could use the bed I have been using the last month, but one of the people has chosen to view my bike as his way to excise his anger. He has destroyed the derailer and it will cost me about $75 to have it repaired. His reasoning for changing the gears abusively is the bike is "a piece of shit".  But, it isn't his responsibility to fix it, or pay for the repairs. His girlfriend has nothing to say, except to pretend nothing is wrong.  (The bike is not just a bike: I have severe arthritis in my lower limbs, and wear a knee brace for support. I cannot stand for more than a few minutes with the brace and the bike allows me to carry groceries as well as exercise to control my weight and diabetes.)

The rains have returned, but there is always a sleeping bag and tarp.

On the 33rd day it rained...

104 Ave at 140 St, Surrey, BC, 11:00 AM

I can't believe I'm in the city where it all began in the summer of 2007 and ended in the autumn of 2012.

The last half decade is full of experiences that would tear many to shreds, and often I want to believe it was all a fantasy I wrote.  I can only view it as more pearls on a string woven into a ball to be tossed around; otherwise, I'd go mad trying to place the details into some logical context.

Psycho-analyst, Alice Miller, and Jungian, Marion Woodman's work helps to bridge some of the motifs my life has spun in and out of. What I have done with the experiences of the last 55 years certainly isn't the norm: I've always been destined to have that proverbial Chinese "interesting life".

55 years of of roaming in the gloaming has taught that as long as I breathe it will be impossible for me to "shut the fuck up and sit down", so I may as well stop trying to put an edit button between my mind and mouth. It's time to let her rip -

I am a Canadian.

I am whatever it is I decide to be and no one can use it against me. But, not everyone born or immigrated to Canada understands what it means to be a Canadian. The last half decade has shown me this to be so true; and, it brings to mind a line out of BBC's "I Claudius" when a Senator, about to undergo Lucius Aelius Sejanus's, torture describes the coming violence as "the putrefaction Rome [had] become".  I feel the same about Canada because of my generation's input, or lack thereof, into the direction of this country.

We have had so many immigrants from violent, war torn countries without bothering to monitor their mental and emotional health.  We now have the whole world living within our borders and not one lick of work has been done by my generation to make sure they know what it means to live under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

It means you're not allowed to use my choices against me.

I am a single, white, female artist with an independent streak longer and wider than the Milky Way. You cannot kill me or do me physical harm and everyone knows this.  I'm here to set a longer standard of life-span for the generations after me.  This means I am different.

In the time I have lived in Surrey BC I have had seven landlords who have done their best to violate my rights and make me cower to their omnipotent shame-based behaviours as they got their friends, in and out of law enforcement, to gang up on me. It didn't work. It won't.  I'm still here, alive and well, and I'm sure much to many's chagrin, stronger.

They put me in jail - maximum security! - twice for a total of 13 days and it still didn't instill any fear in me. I was then able to use law enforcement to protect myself from the minions of the drug world, to which many of the Sikh extraction will say I 'deserved'.

I learned at age 11 what it means to say "no" to an abuser. The word "no" has more power than any other human concept. It means the power of free will. The power to know what it feels like to say it and make another stop. The power of fearlessness. The power of responsibility.  And, this power gives me the right to say "Fuck off and drop dead" to anyone I choose.

  

Living the Homeless Life, Part 1

For those who don't know...

On November 15, 2013 the police pulled me out of the apartment I was living in to protect my life from the numb-nut criminals in the complex.(Had I been informed that the landlord is associated with gangsters I would not have moved into the place in the first place.  Because I know me and me always calls the police upon witnessing a crime, and living in a den of thieves is not conducive to my well being.)

Since then I have been in the homeless state of sharing a transition house run by the Salvation Army.  I have no say on who my roommates will be, and army life is not something I have ever needed. For more than 50 years I have learned self-discipline by engaging in the arts. Artists are masters, and masters create something from nothing. Simple as that. Do these Army folk understand this? No.

The majority of the people who work and live within the Salvation Army are people who need to be told what to do and how to do it. A case in point:

This morning I had a discussion with one of my roommates about the effects of drugs and alcohol on the human mind. She has not used crack cocaine for the last eight months after 15 years of using. She was saying the addiction is a disease, and I said it is a lifestyle choice. I backed my statement up with the fact that drugs and alcohol suppress the mind's inhibitors, allowing for the user to express whatever emotion they feel or think about in the moment; and, that it takes a great deal of practice to control one's emotions. She ended the conversation with stating she needed to get ready to go to church. 

She needs the structure of basic rules because she has spent a great deal of her adult life in the state of being out of control. For her, the daily church attendance is an absolute need, because it is the comfort zone where she does not have to take responsibility for controlling herself. Someone else is in control, she's obedient to her faith instead of a substance.

What I know...

In more than 50 years of engaging in one art form or another I have discovered self control. Each art form is a skill, and those skills require practice to achieve proficiency, and the practice demands self control.